Reiworld
by Cab329
Summary: Rei buys a notebook that makes whatever she puts down come to life! Now the idiotic avatar who sold it has to get it back! SxR
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own eva, gainax, most of my clothing, etc.

Author's note: Do dee do…Oh! Hi there! I was just sorting through ideas for a story. Since you're here, how bout I take you for a tour of the fanfiction writing portion of my brain? Over here are my random thoughts ( points to memos). Here is my current stories, (points to books on shelf). And here is…. Oh shit. Where'd the notebook go?

Rei-world: part one

Rei got up and began her morning routine. She got out of bed, took a cold shower (the warm water never worked) made a small breakfast of plain white rice, changed into her uniform and headed out. She followed this routine every day without fail. She knew she would arrive ten minutes early, where she would look out the window and think until class began. Did she wish for variation? Quite possibly, she never would say however, besides, keeping dead lines almost gave her a sense of purpose, something she had started to desire in the bottom of her heart. After school, she would run tests and then head home. If the commander was in a good mood, he might eat with her, though that event was becoming rarer and rarer. Was she happy? Probably not, her eyes were dull lifeless and her few words were either enigmatic or sad. She paused at the crosswalk as she did every day. Today would be ordinary, provided no angels attacked, and even if they did, she had a contingency for that.

"Excuse me miss, I'm raising money for a local charity, would you care to purchase any of my wares?"

Rei turned around and saw a man in a long red coat straddling what appeared to be a giant chicken. His hair shot out in multiple black spikes. He wore blue tinted sunglasses and a pair of black slacks and a shirt. He hopped down and pulled a table out of his coat. He then pulled out multiple items from his coat and laid them on the table.

"My name is Ca-uh, Gohan, yeah, that's it, Gohan. Now, is there anything on my table that catches your eye?"

Rei didn't respond.

"Aaah…you're looking for something extraordinary, aren't you?" The man said. "Well, I think I have just what you're looking for." He pulled out a flowered hairclip, "I think this would go perfect with your hair and…hey! Where are you going?"

The light had changed and Rei continued with her morning schedule, completely ignoring the strange man who was shoving the table and all the items on it back into his coat. The man then mounted the giant yellow chicken and said:

"Go Gregory! Follow her!"

The giant bird collapsed.

"Damn alcoholic chocobo! You drank the rum, didn't you?"

The bird just snored and let a puddle of drool fall from his mouth. The man who called himself Gohan got up and ran after the blue haired albino.

A little later…

Rei walked at her normal pace and before long she reached the gate of the school. Her only thoughts were the ones that caused her legs to move. She started towards the escalator, when all of a sudden a man in a long red coat and tire treads all over him blocked the path.

"Now hold up there!" The man said, "I think you are seriously underestimating the variety of goods I have."

"Please move out of the way," Rei said.

"Please, this is for a very good cause! Tell you what if you just buy one thing, I'll leave you alone." Gohan said.

Rei put on the slightest of frowns and asked. "what is the cheapest item you have?"

"Well, I see you want to talk business!" The man rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a 300page, 12 subject notebook that was cobalt blue, "This notebook is a one of kind, you never run out of paper, it can't be destroyed, and it…"

"How much?" Rei asked, wanting to get on her way.

"Only 800 yen."

Rei pulled out a wallet from her bag and dropped some coins into the man's hand.

The man put them into his pocket and handed over the notebook. "I'm sure you'll be most pleased with your purchase." He then stepped out of the way.

Rei moved on without a word and headed up the escalator. "I'll have to spread out my rice a bit more." She thought. She then entered the classroom and took her seat by the window.

"Well, it looks like wonder girl is a little late today!"

Rei didn't even turn around. She knew who it was; Asuka always liked to be a loudmouth before school (and during, and after).

"Well, did you not get enough sleep first child? Well don't you worry, I can take up the slack for both you and Shinji."

Rei kept looking out the window. What she was thinking about wasn't anything of great importance; at that moment she was merely observing a chipmunk that was climbing in a tree.

Asuka slammed her hand down on the albino's desk. "You listen when I'm speaking!" She then spied Rei's new notebook and snatched it saying, "a notebook, how quaint! Don't you know that all our homework is done on computer, I can't believe that you bought it!"

Rei continued to look out the window, now observing a fly that was buzzing by the window.

Asuka slammed the notebook down and headed back to her desk. Rei picked it up and out of curiosity, opened it. It was a plain, college-ruled notebook. The only thing that was interesting was a small post-it, which read "When you need to write something, and have no idea, write down whatever you think, even if it has nothing to do with what you set out to write."

"Asuka, why are you always like that?" Hikari asked, "You can be such a child some times."

"Hikari, you know I'm just trying to have some fun with her, I mean, if she would just talk a little more, she'd probably have some friends." Asuka retorted.

"But Asuka, don't you think that what you're saying might be hurtful to Rei?" after not receiving an answer, Hikari turned to her friend and said, "Asuka are you even…WHAT THE?!!"

A small redheaded girl with blue eyes and pigtails looked up at her with tears in her eyes. "I want my momma…"she then started to cry.

Meanwhile…

"Come on Gregory, you've drunken more than that before, what gives?" The man said as his cell phone went off.

"Hello, this is Cab329, avie and world jumper, how may I be of service?"

Cab, do you know anything about my notebook going missing?

"No, can't say I do."

Oh, that's funny, since I saw Chocobo tracks all over the room.

"Oh…um, yeah, I kinda borrowed it for an undisclosed amount of time."

Well, how bout you bring it back, cuz I kind of need it to write.

"Why don't you just use another one?"

Because that one is a medium for making changes in other worlds, without it I can't write stories.

"Oh, I kind of sold it to Rei Ayanami."

WHAT?!!

"What's the big deal? She probably won't do anything with it."

Meanwhile…

"I need to make a tinkle!" The child said.

The entire class looked at her.

"Too late."

Author's note: Well this is a fine mess.

Part two ad

Rei realizes what the notebook is capable of! God help the evaverse!

Cab329 gets some back up.

What will happen with little Asuka?


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2: Three Rei's and a pint sized Asuka

The little red-haired girl continued to stand in the middle of the classroom, crying her eyes out as the other students in classroom 2B watched with their jaws on the floor.

Managing to compose herself, Hikari walked over to the child and asked, "Excuse me little girl, but are you lost?"

This caused girl in the little blue dress to stamp her feet and scream, "I AM NOT LOST!!! I just don't know where I am."

Used to dealing with children's tantrums, Hikari merely smiled and sweetly said, "Alright, alright, let's go to the principal's office and see if we can find your momma." With that she held out her hand so the crimson-haired prepubescent could hold on to her.

The little girl instead smacked the had away and huffed, "I can find my own way there!" She then headed out of the room, slamming the door behind her as she exited. Hikari followed suit after giving a quick bow to her teacher, who merely nodded.

Seeing this, Rei glanced back at the notebook and noticed that the words, "Asuka as a child" had disappeared from its college ruled pages. Rei paused for a moment, and pondered on what had occurred. She had just written down those words on a rare whim and then…Asuka had disappeared and been replaced with a small, red-haired girl. It was very strange, but…it couldn't have been the notebook, could it? As she sat there, her ball-point hovering over the clean pages, the door to the classroom opened, and Shinji walked in, carrying a stack of new Biology textbooks for the lessons they were starting. Rei looked up at her fellow pilot, then back at the notebook.

"If this did work…" Rei thought.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Inside Rei's head, a very strange confrontation was going on. Three Reis were seated, each behind their own oak desk. One Rei, who sat behind a desk marked "EGO" was dressed in a black business suit, red tie, and a pair of black, plastic glasses and had a blue laptop on her desk. Another Rei, who sat behind a bare desk marked "SUPEREGO" was dressed very conservatively in a black dress and was frothing at the mouth in anger. The final Rei, who sat with her pale feet up on a desk marked "ID" was dressed in camo pants, a black bra, and a white bandana, which had been tied around her messy blue hair. On her desk lay various pornographic magazines, a mountain of chocolate, and many half empty bottles of liquor.

"MADAME PRESIDENT! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" The Superego Rei screamed at the secretarial Ego Rei.

"I-I-I" the poor Rei stammered, looking down at her laptop, "I just thought…"

"You thought? Excuse me Madame President, but aren't you supposed to get my opinion on any and all decisions that come up?" The enraged Rei snapped.

"Don't get your panties in a knot Superemo," Id replied after taking a swig of sake, "she just took my advice, trying to be impulsive for once."

"Impulsive? Our persona is not Impulsive! Madame President, I am growing concerned over your growing fondness for siding with Id. I believe it is unhealthy for us to take any of her suggestions, as she has a track record of causing us emotional and physical harm."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Id replied casually, thumbing through a rather risqué magazine.

"Let's just say I would rather us not be choked…again. I would suggest that we completely forget about this idea of writing anything else down in this notebook, and returning to only performing our most necessary functions in day-to-day life until our purpose is complete upon this world and we may return to nothingness." Superego then gave a seated bow and smiled; she'd been the true power of the three for quite some time and knew that Ego side with her.

Ego sighed and began to type the order to put away the notebook, when Id suddenly jumped up, grabbed her right wrist, and said, "Wait just a minute there sweet cheeks! That bitch still hasn't explained why it's a bad idea to write something in that book. In my opinion, we should go ahead with another test to see what it can do."

"IT DOES'NT DO ANYTHING!" Superego screamed before running over and grabbing Ego's other wrist.

"Oh, so you think that Soryu turning into a toddler was just a coincidence?" Id retorted, pulling on her half of Ego."

"It's possible isn't it?" Superego screamed back, pulling on her half.

"Yeah, as possible as…"

"ENOUGH!" Ego yelled in a rare act of defiance, ripping her arms out of the others' clutches. "I see no reason as to why performing a simple test on this notebook would be a major disadvantage to us, so that is what we will do."

"Madame President!" Superego protested.

"Sit down Miss Superego. Now Id, what did you have in mind?"

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Shinji sat the textbooks down on the instructor's desk and headed back to his desk, finding it strange that his fellow classmates were loudly gossiping and that the room's instructor was not babbling about pre-second-impact events, but was instead sitting stupefied in his seat. But what was more surprising was that Asuka's voice could not be heard mixed in with the gossip. The young pilot let his eyes wander towards her desk, and failed to find the red-haired vixen or the class representative. Taking notice of this, Shinji silently walked to his desk and sat down, where he was quickly dragged into the gossip by Kensuke and Toji.

"Ikari, you won't believe what just happened," Toji said with a look of amazement on his face, "Asuka…"

"Turned into a little kid!" Kensuke interrupted. "She was-OW"

After shooting the freckle-faced boy a look that said he would receive more than a playful punch if he interrupted again, Toji continued, saying, "She was picking on Ayanami, and just after she sat back down she disappeared and a little red-headed girl with pigtails showed up and"

"Totally pissed her pants in front of everyone!" Kensuke exclaimed.

Shinji decided to turn away from the coming wrath of a twice-interrupted Toji on an unfortunate Kensuke, and faced towards the windows. True, the story sounded very strange, but what part of his life could be considered normal? He piloted a machine that dwarfed almost every building on the planet against giant monsters that looked like they belonged in a Godzilla movie, one of his roommates was a warm water penguin, and he had a guardian who more often than not was dependent on his caretaking, instead of the other way around. Of course the part about Asuka picking on Rei wasn't particularly surprising, in fact it was a relatively common event. Shinji didn't think his roommate meant anything by it, she was probably just trying to get a rise out of the quiet girl so she could at least get a read off of her.

Thinking these thoughts, Shinji glanced over at the indigo-haired girl, who was just removing her ballpoint pin from a new notebook. He had never been comfortable around her, though she never seemed to bear any ill will towards him; she just always seemed to be very distant and hard to talk to. Still, the smile she had shown after he had opened her entry plug showed there was a softer side to her that…

Toji ceased twisting Kensuke's arm and looked at Shinji's desk, which now sat empty. Letting his eyes dart around the room in search of his friend, the track-suited boy noticed that Rei had disappeared as well.

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE MEANWHILE

Hikari continued to chase after the little red-haired as she ran through the school. After making twelve complete runs through the school, the pair finally came to a stop in front of a water fountain.

"Hey funny hair! Pick me up so I can get a drink!" The girl demanded while pointing at the fountain.

Hikari's jaw dropped at the child's rude comment. "That's very rude young lady! I don't think I'll help you," she said while folding her arms.

The girl wrung the hem of her blue dress for a few seconds before saying, "I'm sorry." She then started quivering her lip like she was about to cry.

The entire fabrication was too cute for Hikari to bear, and she quickly dropped her guard, bent down and embraced the red-haired child.

"It's okay, I bet you're just cranky from not seeing your mama." Hikari warmly said before standing, "my name is Hikari, what's your's?"

Seeing something shiny and red on a nearby wall, the girl walked over to it before saying, "Asuka Langley Soryu."

Hikari's eyes became wide as dinner platters upon hearing the impossible revelation that the little girl had uttered so casually. Unfortunately, this made her blind to the redheaded child's pulling of the fire-alarm.

BRINGBRINGBRINGBRINGBRINGBRINBRINBRINGBRINGBRINGBRINGBRINGBRING

Meanwhile, the avatar known only as Cab329 stood out in front of the school's main entrance, talking to his badly hung over chocobo.

"It's a simple plan, Gregory. I'll head in there, show the NERV security card I pilfered from the last fic I got sent to research, ask to see Rei, give her money back, and get boss's notebook back before anything bad happens." The avatar explained.

The chocobo just shook his head.

"What, you don't think it'll work?"

Gregory continued to wave his massive cranium from side to side.

"Oh come on!" I admit the card's a bit old…and the picture is obviously of a female tech, but it should still work!" The annoyed world-hopper said in reply.

The Chocobo continued its head shaking and then bent over and vomited.

"Eww," Cab whined before taking a bottle of pills out of his coat, "here, take these and go work off your hangover in the parking lot."

After making sure the gigantic poultry did as he was told, the avatar went to entrance, opened the door, and was trampled by a flood of students who had completely forgotten all proper procedure of what to do in case of a fire. After the stampeding students finished stomping him into a pulp, the crushed man heard a familiar voice.

"Well, Cab329, looks like you've completely forgotten everything I taught you about staying hidden and silently observing a story for your author."

"Well, I never did care much for your lessons, empowered creation hunter Takiname." Cab replied before gazing up at the elderly teacher of classroom 2B with his swollen right eye, "Have you seen Rei by any chance?"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When Shinji finally came to, he was mortified. He was no longer at school, but instead was seated on a bench in the geofront that sat next to a small stream, with his arms tightly around Rei's midsection and his chin clutching on to her left shoulder.

Rei turned her head back and saw Shinji's startled face looking at her. Looking down, she noticed that the notebook was still clutched in her right hand and the words had once again disappeared from its pages. She allowed her eyes to close for a bit, and focused on the warmth from her fellow pilot's body. There was such a relaxing feeling from having his arms draped around her, that she sat there for a few minutes like that, just basking in the comfort that Shinji was reluctantly (as his apologies and futile attempts at removing his arms from her) providing.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Inside Rei's head, Id gave a scream of victory and began massaging Ego's shoulders.

"Alright girl, wasn't the orgy or the spanking I was hoping for, but a good start nonetheless. Now I have a couple of ideas that I think you'd just love. For instance…

TO BE CONTINUED

Part 3: NERV Damage

What is the true identity of the elderly teacher?

What will Rei's next move be?

Has the author lost his mind?

What is your favorite flavor of yogurt?


End file.
